Physical Attractiveness as the New Counterfeit Social Currency
PHYSICAL
ATTRACTIVENESS AS THE NEW COUNTERFEIT SOCIAL CURRENCY.
By Dr. Pete Pedilla
Physical attractiveness has become the dominant criterion
upon which we, as a society, emphasize and use to attract, to initiate and use
in our attempt to develop romantic relationships. But because of this emphasis
on such a one-sided aspect of our relationships, physical beauty, we definitely
have some high expectations about how our partners should look.
Most of us feel we should engage in a relationship with a
partner who is as physically attractive as possible; even to the detriment of
other factors. Under different circumstances, these factors may have been a
deal-breaker. During a heated class discussion, one of my students put it
succinctly when he commented, “Heck, my relationships all suck, so I may as
well be in a crappy relationship with a hottie.”
After studying romantic relationships professionally for
nearly two decades, I’ve noticed that as a society, our eyes are exceedingly
content, while our souls are extraordinarily lonely.
I would conjecture that because we have placed such a
premium on physical attractiveness defining or romantic endeavors, as opposed
to being attracted to someone for what defines their essence, our relationships
have become selfishly hollow and hedonistic in nature. So as a society we’ve
gotten ourselves into a “pretty” mess. Just take a look at the divorce rate.
I would be remiss here if I didn’t mention the relationship
between our present predicament and the mass media. The message is clear in today’s
mass media: physical attractiveness matters; and often appears to matter most.
The message concerning “good looks” permeates our commercials, product/ service
advertisements, television sitcoms, and is trumpeted in the plot lines of our
popular movies.
In a recent T-Mobile commercial, a plethora of salespersons
try to approach a potential customer’s house to deliver their sales pitch. The homeowner,
however, is a hard nut to crack. No one can even get close to his door. All of
their advances are rebuffed until Catherine Zeta-Jones takes a shot at trying
her sales pitch. Suddenly the homeowner is overly-anxious to listen to what shehas to say! After all, she is a hottie.
In the new Freecreditreport.com commercial, bad credit
results in the guys being forced to drive jalopy. As they are stalled at a red
light, a nice car driven by two beauties pulls up next to them. The hotties
take one look at the guys in their clunker, laugh, and quickly speed off. Message:
if you can’t get social validation by beautiful women, you’re a loser!
As I was riding the Denver RTD light rail, a bus passed by.
My eyes were immediately drawn to ad plastered along the side of the vehicle.
It contained a woman’s beautiful face on a ad for a website that helps people
rent apartments. The beautiful face had nothing to do with the message; yet it
got me to notice the ad!
I saw a similar ad at Phoenix’s Sky Harbor airport. Again, a
beautiful face drew my attention to an ad about something to do with labor
relations. Honestly, I can’t remember the ads message, but I sure remember the
cute face!
In an episode of the George
Lopez show, his beautiful niece Veronica moves in with his family.
George is upset because Veronica is able to use her beauty to have others do
her work, her laundry, and even install free premium cable channels for her.
In an episode of Cheers,
Norm spots a beautiful woman as she walks into the bar. As she comes near him,
he is so enamored with her looks he asks her, “Can I buy you a car?” to show
her what he is willing to do for her. After all, she is gorgeous!
In the new series The Bachelorette, the ad for the series
lures potential viewers with the fact that the new Bachelorette (as opposed to
the Bachelor) is going to have 25 choices. The men they feature are all
good-looking hunks! The show is premised on whether or not the new Bachelorette
will find “true” love. True love after all must be bundled in a attractive body
and nice-looking face.
Television programs have made beauty the new social
currency. But since the currency is often hollow and meaningless, it’s
counterfeit. The airbrushed skin, the breast augmentations, the face lifts,
they all gain attention. But what do they contribute to beyond gaining
attention? Are they instrumental in keeping attention? Like counterfeit money,
the bearer may get away with spending such bogus currency, with fun times to be
had. Eventually however, they will get caught and their phony currency will
fail them in their quest for genuine love.
The plot line of a recent movie Paul Blart Mall Cop shows a
genuine man, lonely, in a search for true love. His family is concerned whether
or not he will ever find a genuine partner. Blart spots a stunning woman
working at a kiosk at the mall he guards. His interest is immediately piqued.
After some trouble develops at the Mall, Blart has a chance to prove his love
for the hottie. After he saves the day (and her life), the credits run as they
are shown enjoying their wedding reception together. Message: true love,
genuine effort and beauty are the formula for true love.
The message that physical attractiveness is paramount to
success in social life is so obvious that even young children appear to realize
its significance.
Recently my six-year-old niece was playing with her dolls.
Her mom sat down next to her and asked her what she was playing. My niece
replied with a short explanation of each dolls social character. Her mom was
stunned when she heard her daughter say, “This is Susie, she is pretty, so she
is popular and doesn’t have to work very hard; people do things for her.”
Another measure of this physical attractiveness as the
social currency is females with eating disorders. Girls are literally starving
for attention. To these females, any social status garnered from being thin
overrides the need to be healthy. They may die from their ailment, but they’ll
die with their social status intact.
Recently one of my female students realized I had an
extremely attractive sister who is a model and an actress. I made a comment about
my sister’s recent breakup and my student asked, “Why would anyone want to
break up with her? Look at her!”
Another female friend of mine was involved in a nasty
abusive relationship and a common friend of ours asked her, “Why don’t you just
break up with him already?” She replied, “I would, but where am I going to find
another guy as good-looking as he is?” She wasn’t concerned about the essence
of his social character; all she was concerned with was his attractiveness.
Again, happy eyes, tormented soul.
I guess people have given physical attractiveness such
credence that they honestly believe that the cute factor will transcend all of
life’s other concerns.
The question I want to end with is who will be able to put
this bad attractive-concerned genie back in the bottle? I was happy to learn
that the dating service eHarmony has claimed to try and remedy such a shallow
reliance on physical attractiveness in establishing romantic relationships.
They claim to match people on something they call Deep Compatibility. I sincerely hope this begins a “remedy
revolution” to our failed relationship quandary. Otherwise, the problem will
only continue to grow beyond a cure. Perhaps that ship has already sailed.
| 
